A Star's Shadow
by B0Kchoy
Summary: AU. Finn has known his cancer diagnosis for long enough. By now, he's mostly ready when the day comes that he's told he doesn't have much time left. He makes it his one last wish to find the girl of his dreams, and falls into the world of Rachel Berry.
1. Take A Bow

"Mr. Hudson, I think you already know what the results are going to be," the doctor said warily, holding the clipboard so tightly her dark knuckles were turning white. Her voice was soothing, the kind of velvety tone that was pleasing to an uneasy mind.

"I know," Finn replied in a soft breath. He had known about his lung cancer diagnosis for long enough, he was prepared for this result.

"You know you're already in that small percentage who developed the cancer without a smoking history," she continued. "So you know how unlikely it is that you're in that small percentage who live full lives."

Finn didn't want to hear any more. "How long," he choked after a minute of ringing silence.

"I can't be sure, at this point," Dr. Nouri admitted. "Most likely less than a year. It could be months, or it could be weeks." She allowed him several minutes to try to absorb what he was hearing, but when he stayed quiet still, she consoled him as well as she could, then ushered him out.

When he had finished booking a follow-up appointment at the front desk, Finn left the clinic without another word. His world had never been right-side-up, but now here it was being completely flipped on its head.

He took the long way home, hoping his mind could sort through this mess before he got there. He strolled through Central Park, looping around the zoo and crossing Bow bridge and finding the biggest crowd to be stuck behind- anything but dealing with his life. At home, there would be phone calls and medicines; his family's tears mingling with his own over the miles between them.

At one point on his detour through the park, he began to think of all the cancer movies he'd seen, mostly in school or for sappy girlfriends. Every main character made a bucket list. Sure, there were a ton of things he wanted to do before he died, but a part of him would rather stray from the norm. In the end, he decided on one goal before his impending demise: To find the girl of his dreams.

He was completely aware that this, besides jumping out of an airplane, was the most stereotypical last wish there was. However, he'd spent his other 24 years with naïve and dependent girls, and all he wanted was someone who he could really talk and relate to. It was cheesy, but this was what he wanted in his short life, and he wouldn't let his heart stop beating till it had fluttered for a woman.

"Are you ready, Finny?" Susan called from outside his apartment door. Susan had been his kindly neighbour since the day he moved to New York. She was in her eighties, and acted like the stereotypical grandma to him, always coming up with pet names and rubbing dirt off his face with her spit. He had never connected too deeply with his coworkers, and considered her his best friend- that's when you know your life is downhill.

"Just a minute, Sue," he hollered back. He smirked at her reply of how she hated to be called that. He tightened and straightened his navy tie before opening the door. "Oh, you know I love being Finny."

Ignoring his comment, Sue pattered down the stairwell and out the side exit of the building. Finn trailed behind, shocked at how quickly the old woman could move. Her dress, a long floral number that might've been a hit in the 60's, swished in his path, and he danced awkwardly to avoid stepping on it. At the edge of the sidewalk, he stuck his arm out into the air to hail a cab. His tuxedo jacket was unfit for the summer weather, and he was already boiling beneath it. The musty air of the cab did little to help, crushing his hopes of a little air conditioning.

This was their routine- every Sunday, the two of them would pick a show to see. He wasn't exactly one for theatre, but Susan adored it. In her day, she had been the coach for a glee club that took the national championship trophy every year, and even performed in some small shows herself. Between that and her rich husband who had passed away in his thirties, she had plenty of money to spare. Instead of living the high life, she had decided to live low key, and spend the cash on her love for Broadway. When Finn came along, it encouraged her even more, attempting to put the theatrical spirit into him.

"What's the show today?" Finn asked curiously.

"It's a classic, called West Side Story." She smiled eagerly at him, her eyes bugging out of her head. "I think you'll enjoy it too, Finny, there are knives and gangs."

Finn nodded along. They conversed over the show and Susan's pregnant niece as the taxi maneuvered itself through the city traffic. When they arrived at the theatre, Finn grabbed a program and found their seats, this time only rows away from the stage. He flipped through the program absentmindedly before folding it up and shoving it into his pant pocket.

The lights dimmed and the show started, He overall thought it was a pretty awesome story, and the Maria girl was sort of hot, in a Megan Fox kind of way. At the curtain call, Susan stood up right away to clap as usual, Finn joining unwillingly. As the ensemble bowed, a giddy brunette on stage left met his gaze as she laughed and smiled at the applause. She had the aura of a star. While their eyes only caught each other for a couple seconds, he felt frozen in time. It was like seeing a reincarnation of an angel on a grilled cheese sandwich. His stomach flipped when he noticed the corner of her mouth somehow curving up even more before she glanced away.

It seemed like a long-shot, but maybe he had already found that girl.

Susan had insisted on buying him a massive scoop of gelato and walking home through Central Park. He didn't really understand, since it would've taken longer than it took him to eat to take the direct way anyways, but he tried to never argue with the elderly woman.

"Enjoy the show?" she asked for the third time.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool."

She barely let him finish repeating his response before cutting in. "I saw that look in yours eyes."

Finn stumbled on his next step on the paved walkway, aghast. "Uh, there was a look in my eye?" he questioned, half knowing what she meant, half completely confused.

"That girl. Rachel Berry, the ensemble girl," she said impatiently.

"How do you know who she is? Did you work with her?"

"Of course not, there's a program for a reason!" Susan chided. Finn thudded his palm against his forehead mentally, not answering. "Do _you_ know her?"

"No," he admitted softly. Without thinking it through, he added, "But I'd like to."

"Well I think you might have a chance," she exclaimed. She held his shoulders firmly with her wrinkled hands.

"Wait, really?" he replied, a dopey grin forming on his face. "Why?"

She twisted him around so he was facing forward on the path instead of her. "Maybe because she's standing right there?"

Sure enough, a petite woman was poised in the middle of Bow Bridge, peeking her head over the side. He watched as she giggled adorably at something in the water he couldn't see from there before Susan shoved him forcefully from behind. Almost falling flat onto the ground, he whipped around to her. "What are you doing?" he said, harsher than intended.

She seemed to be disregarding his tone in her reply. "I think I'm going to head home. I can take that empty bowl for you. Get over there and live your life, for goodness sake." She snatched the plastic gelato cup from his hand and he stared after her as she dropped it in the trash can and strutted away. Then he turned back to the girl.

He composed himself and went over to the bridge as confidently as he could. He placed himself right next to her and positioned his hands on the railing. "What did I miss?" he asked in a trial at being that mysterious stranger in the movies.

The woman's chiming laughter stopped abruptly, leaving her mouth open in shock. Her head darted to see who the man was beside her. "You're..that guy," she murmured. Her voice was barely audible, but sounded just as beautiful as her giggles; as beautiful as she was.

"Yeah, that sounds like me."

She blushed, glancing at her ballet flats and gnawing her bottom lip. This barely lasted ten seconds before she drew herself together and went back to an all-knowing stature. "Well I think I have permission to laugh at whatever I please, thank you very much," she finally told him, turning her gaze back to the water.

"I'll respect that." Finn bowed his head once to her. "Can I ask you your name?"

"I'm shocked you don't already know." She didn't physically make a _hmph_ sound, but something about the way she said it radiated that.

"Actually I do, I just thought I'd ask." Rachel turned her head back to see the smug half-smile painted on his face. He slipped his hands into his pant pockets. From there, he shifted his left fingers, doing his best not to further crumple the program- this one he wanted to keep.

"if you want an autograph, I have pink, black and gold sharpies. Your choice." She began rummaging through her handbag, but he interrupted her.

"No, that's alright. I kind of just wanted to talk to you."

"Funny," she said with a sarcastic laugh that rustled her bangs, "People tend to find me quite annoying, I'm told."

"Weird," Finn replied. "You seem pretty nice to me." Her long lashes fluttered slightly as their eyes met again.

Suddenly she pulled her phone out of her purse. His inner self was squealing in excitement that she might give him her phone number, but what she said disappointed him to the point of it showing on his features. "It's pretty late, I should be home by now. I like to stay on schedule."

"Oh," he muttered, doing his best to hide feeling let down. "Well, maybe we'll meet again sometime.'

"New York is a big city. Don't get your hopes up." She gave him a soft smile as she spun to saunter across the bridge in the opposite direction, leaving him flustered in the middle of Central Park.

**A/N: I got inspired by The Fault In Our Stars mostly, and wrote this. I'm not sure if I'll continue but thank you. :)**


	2. Jump Then Fall

"Finn Hudson?" the nasally voice of the receptionist, Linda read from her computer. She put a weird emphasis on "son," over-pronouncing the O.

"Yeah, that's me," he confirmed. "I'm just here to pick up another bottle of my medication."

"That'll be a moment while we locate your order," she said. Her voice was the opposite of the doctor's, harsh and irritating. "You can take a seat in the waiting room.'

Finn stepped back from the counter and turned to the small room of chairs. He sat down on the tattered cushion of a chair across from the other man who was there. The man lifted his eyes from the magazine he held to give Finn a seemingly judgmental look then went back to his reading. Finn drummed his fingers on the side of his leg, lightly tapping his foot. He felt awkward in that waiting room, and only wanted his medication to hurry itself up.

The bell of the clinic door rang, announcing a new patient's presence. There were only four chairs in the space, and the other man's stack of magazines cluttered on the seat beside him left only the one next to Finn. He tried to be nonchalant as he shuffled to the left, moving his big frame out of the neighbouring chair's bubble.

He listened to the overpowering slapping of flip flops on the linoleum as the new patient went to the front desk. His eyes darted up to follow. The woman brushed a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, reminding him of Rachel. She turned around then and froze.

Rachel it was.

Finn averted his sight, pretending like he hadn't even noticed her. Evidently, he'd been stock-still with a blank look on his face for long enough that she knew he had.

"I guess I was wrong," Rachel proclaimed as she took the one empty seat.

"You're kind of like, a star, I could've found you." After he said it, he immediately rushed in to not come off as creepy. "I mean, not that I was going to. But it probably wouldn't be that hard, you must do signings or something." Finn focused straight ahead of him to the wall, avoiding the menacing eye contact he expected.

Rachel let out a sarcastic chuckle. "A star? Yeah, I sign my name with a star at the end. Usually just on contracts. I have by no means achieved fame. I am however destined for it." There was something cute about the way she spoke. It was in a superior way, but not stuck-up at all, like a kid talking back to a bully.

"You're in a Broadway show, I think that classifies as a star," he argued.

"I'm in the ensemble," she said piteously. "I'm that ensemble girl who's not even an understudy for a secondary character!"

"You're a star to me," he blurted out.

Rachel's voice dropped in pitch and tone, becoming innocent. "Thank you." He finally swiveled his head to meet her bright, round eyes. A vague part of his brain thought it was amusing how much he was looking down to her. "Maybe you're not that bad after all."

"Uh, thanks." He stuck out his hand for her to grab. "Finn Hudson."

With only a moment of hesitation, she grasped his hand to shake. "Rachel Berry, but you already know that." He smirked at her attitude.

"What brings you to the doctor's today?" Finn asked, trying to make conversation.

"Um." Rachel bit her lip.

"Oh, sorry, I suck at this. I shouldn't be asking that," he realized. He felt a strong desire to slap himself.

"No, it's okay, it's not anything really," the woman cut in promptly. "I just have to get some tests to check if any of my vitamins are low, because of my vegan diet. I'm almost positive they'll be perfectly fine." She paused for a few seconds when he simply nodded. "Can I ask you why you're here?"

Finn prepared himself to make a lie, but then thought better of it. He saw no use in hiding his disease anymore; it all boiled down to the same fate.

"I'm here to pick up my cancer meds," he told her casually.

Rachel's jaw and eyebrows sunk before she caught herself. "Well, I hope they work out for you.

"Oh, they won't," Finn announced. "They just help to get me through my days. I think I've accepted it."

"You're not just making this up so I'll like you, are you?" Rachel questioned, a conflicted look on her face.

"Not last time I checked," Finn smirked. "Why, would it be working?"

"I'm sorry, that was rude," she corrected herself, ignoring Finn's comment. In a whisper, she added, "Do you know how long?"

"I have left?" Finn finished. "Not really. Could be tomorrow, could be a few months away."

"Then I propose we speed things up," she stated matter-of-factly.

Finn's stomach flipped in anticipation, but he didn't let his excitement run away from him. "And by that you mean?"

Her chocolate eyes warmed with her subtle smile, but that personality never faltered. "By that I mean, do you want your date or not?"

"Definitely," Finn said with a stutter. "I mean, I do."

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon at two. Do you know where Frank's Gelato on Broadway is?" Finn nodded- this was where Susan often took him after a night at a show. "Be prompt."

"Finn Hudson," Linda squawked.

He hustled to the desk to grab the stapled brown bag. Before he opened the door to leave, Finn paused and looked to Rachel, who had been following him with her eyes. "Don't worry, I will." Then he exited, leaving the bell above the door ringing through the waiting room.

"I think your hair would look much better if you combed to one side, instead of that silly up-do you've got going," Susan declared as Finn spiked up the front of his hair. The gurgling at the back of her throat was audible as she prepared to spit into her hand.

"No, really, it's fine!" Finn said hurriedly. Susan shifted her eyes between him and her glistening hand, seeming to still be contemplating it, but then wiped her hand off on her skirt. He grimaced at the mark it left, imagining that on his own head.

"Well off you go then, can't keep a girl waiting!" Her eyes bulged from their sockets in the usual excited fashion.

Finn took a deep breath then looked himself over in the mirror again. He looked casual, but neat. His dark jeans were freshly ironed, along with his crimson polo shirt. He fidgeted with his belt buckle, trying to look his best. After all this, he closed his eyes tightly. "I'm not ready."

"Sure you are," Susan chimed. "You're a handsome young fellow who's been on a number of dates, what is there to be scared of?"

"This is different. She's different," Finn explained. "Plus she's a star, what if I act stupid?"

"Finny, you can't think of her as a star," she told him. "She isn't exactly a celebrity, and even if she were, you wouldn't act like that. Not if you really loved her."

Finn gulped at the word _love_. Susan was part of that generation who never used _like_ in a relationship sense. It shouldn't have bothered him, but something about it saying he loved Rachel nagged his brain. With a sigh, he let both things slip from his thoughts. "Okay, I guess I should get going. Thanks, Susan."

They said their goodbyes, her sneaking in a bit of spit to his face, and he was suddenly off to his date. The cab ride was silent, so he spent his time mentally pep-talking himself. The driver let him out at the corner of the block as directed, so he could make a better entrance.

As he approached the gelato place, he spotted Rachel standing idly beside the door, looking impatient. He allowed himself a moment to admire her strapless sky blue dress and perfectly primped hair before coming into her view. Her hair fell in soft curls to cover her bare shoulders, and a tiny plastic butterfly clipped her bangs to the top of her head. When she noticed him, he smiled and continued on his walk to her, pretending like he hadn't been staring at her. She didn't smile back, a frown forming instead as her brow furrowed.

"What took you so long?" she demanded. "It's 2:02! I thought we were clear on the time."

He kept as calm as he could at her stubbornness, not wanting to ruin their time together. "Sorry, my neighbour had me caught up. I promise I tried."

"Well I guess we can just be two minutes late. This time." Her tone was at first serious, but then let go of her demeanor and finally grinned back.

The pair walked into the store together, Finn holding the door open. "Thanks, Finn," Rachel said. "That's very chivalrous of you."

"Thanks. Uh, I mean you're welcome." _That's a good thing, right?_ he wondered. As they strolled over to the counter, another thought occurred to him. "Aren't you vegan?"

"Yes I am. Incase you were unaware, this place is called 'Frank's Gelato etc,'" she emphasized the etcetera, "meaning they happen to have sorbet as well." Finn found this acceptable and began to peruse through the vibrant menu board. "Do you know what you're getting?" she asked.

"No, I like to get something different whenever I come," he explained. "Last time I had the chocolate volcano gelato."

Rachel chewed on her bottom lip and nodded her head absentmindedly as she searched over the list of desserts. Without prying her eyes away, she questioned, "Have you ever tried the strawberry sorbet supreme? I must say, it's my favourite I've had."

"No, I guess I haven't really given sorbet a chance," he retorted. His loyalty to gelato another topic, he really just thought the pink scoop topped with an array of berries didn't look insanely manly.

"Well, today you are," she decided for him with a proud look on her face. "Trust me, it's delicious, not to mention pretty." She went to the cashier to place their order. "Could we get a strawberry sorbet supreme and…a banana creme sorbet?" Finn pulled out his wallet to pay while Rachel grabbed their little bowls from the employee. She handed his berry sorbet over and he immediately cupped his hand around the clear plastic, trying to unnoticeably hide it.

"Window seat?" Finn inquired, walking towards the row of small tables. Rachel grabbed his fingertips to stop him, and he felt a jolt of an electric feeling at her touch.

"No, I had a place in mind." She dropped his hand and led him back out into the New York streets. When he started to ask where, Rachel interrupted and insisted it was a secret. They continued on the block until they ended up in Central Park. At Bow Bridge, he expected to keep going, but she halted him before they crossed. "We're here." At the confused look Finn presumed was on his face, Rachel added, "Just this tree. I like to sit under here and watch the water and the people go by."

Deciding it was cute, Finn agreed and followed her in sitting down. The grass was fresh and soft, vibrantly green with the summer. The sun poked through random spaces in the branches, leaving an elegant pattern on the ground in front of them. They dug in to their sorbet, beginning conversation between bites.

"Have you ever people-watched before, Finn?" Rachel wanted to know.

"Never on purpose like this, but I guess I kind of have. People-watching is the essence of life." When she burst out in a single giggle, he had to make it a better point. "I'm being serious, Rachel. How could we ever decide to approach someone if we never just sat back and watched? Wouldn't it be people-watching when we saw each other at the show?"

"Yes, I suppose it would," she sighed. "But it doesn't always have to be like that. Sometimes you just have to sit back and _enjoy_. You have to live your life too, not just watch other peoples'. People-watching is about forgetting about you for a minute and living in a fantasy."

"I can't believe we're in a debate about people-watching," Finn remarked. At the same time, they caught each other's eye and beamed.

"Like I said, stop overanalyzing the people-watching and just do the people-watching," Rachel suggested. "I can't say people-watching anymore!"

Finn chuckled then let his vision trail after a random man speeding along the walkway. "I bet he's late for something."

"That's too obvious. You have to be creative and abstract. We do this in acting class."

"Um. Maybe he's late for his niece's bat mitzvah."

"What held him up?"

"Alien invasion," Finn said through a mouthful of sorbet. Despite the girly appearance, it was as wonderful as Rachel had claimed.

At this theory she laughed again. "I think it turns out though that his sister, so the niece's mom, was switched with an alien shape-shifter years ago. He's never going to make it to her bat mitzvah, because alien families are against religion. She was already zapped away."

"Sounds reasonable."

She smiled amiably at him. They discussed the extraordinary lives of everyone interesting that passed for a while before Rachel changed the subject for a minute. "How's the sorbet?"

"Amazing." He swallowed another bite. "It doesn't really have that creamy texture, but it's really good."

"I'm glad you liked it," Rachel exclaimed. After a beat, "Do you want to taste mine? There's only a spoonful left."

"Same for mine. Which means you get to have some of your favourite, too." He scooped what was left onto the mini spoon and held it up as if it were a glass of champagne.

Rachel mimicked his actions. "Here's to the alien mother!" Finn was ready to trade spoons, but when she aimed for his mouth, he did the same for her. Their arms crossed and interlocked as they sampled each other's sorbet.

When they drew their spoons away, Finn licked his lips. "Hmm, I think I might like the strawberry better. But banana creme was excellent."

Rachel concurred. "I told you that one was the best." She slipped her phone out of her pocket to check the time. "I hate to have to leave, but I have to get ready for tonight's show pretty soon, actually. What would you say to meeting here again tomorrow?"

"I'd say, this spot is lovely," the corner of his mouth curled up crinkling just one of his eyes, "So I'll see you at two."

"You mean, two minutes later."

"Of course." As Rachel waltzed away towards Broadway, Finn was so busy replaying the perfection of their date in his head that he almost tripped backwards into the water.


	3. Call Me Maybe

Finn arrived exactly two minutes after two, purposely trying to be a joker. However, he'd been standing there for ten minutes already and Rachel was still nowhere to be seen. He shuffled from foot to foot anxiously and wiped the sweat from his palms on his shorts. After an additional fifteen minutes of standing alone beside a tree, he slumped down against the trunk. With a gentle hand he plucked a yellow flower from the ground. He let the petals fall to the ground one by one. They drifted leisurely in the wind before spiraling to the grass. He was lost in the moment when his thigh started vibrating.

He didn't recognize the number, but answered his phone. "Hello?"

"Finn? Is that you? Are you at the park still?" Rachel's voice demanded through the line, easily distinguishable from anyone else's.

"Yeah, this is Finn and yes I am," he replied dumbfounded. "Rachel? How do you have my phone number?"

"I have my connections."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rachel tracking down his number was kind of creepy, even if he was loving it.

"My old cast member was your neighbour's student," she explained. "That's all. Okay, listen. I'm sorry I couldn't make it and couldn't tell you till now. I was called in for a last minute doctor's appointment." When Finn said okay to this, she continued. "What would you say to coming after my show tonight? You could just meet me at the stage door and say hi."

"I would like that," he agreed. Another brief pause of silence created an adrenaline feeling through the phone call. "So, are you still at the doctor's now?"

"About thirty minutes of waiting for my test results still ahead of me," she said. "If the clinic wasn't so far out I'd come to the park. How long have you been standing there?"

"Verging on half an hour now," Finn told her. "I guess I'll see you in a few hours then?"

"I promise I'll be there this time," Rachel guaranteed. He was readying himself to say a goodbye, but she barely stopped for a beat. "If you're not busy for an extra half an hour, I could use something to keep me more entertained than magazines from 2001."

"Well I'm from 1994, so I don't think that's a logical reasoning." Through the phone he could practically hear Rachel's smile growing on her face.

"But you see, a magazine doesn't change with the times," Rachel argued.

"Would you still like me if I wore legwarmers and bright purple?" She only giggled. "I'm taking that as a no?"

"Of course I would," she contradicted firmly. "Under the condition that I can wear short skirts and sequin."

_You can wear the skirts either way,_ he wanted to say. Instead, "If that's what it takes."

"So Mr. Hudson, how's life been as a music teacher?" Rachel asked curiously. The way she addressed him sent pleasant shivers down his spine.

"Even if it wasn't summer, I actually wouldn't be teaching right now. I've been on leave since the end of April." He thought through the reality of his situation, then decided to elaborate. "I guess I probably won't see those students again. It was great, though. Music is my life."

"Musicals are mine," Rachel said with a hint of a sarcastic laugh. "Well I can dream, can't I?" Her voice dropped a note, like she was sighing.

"That dream's going to come true, Rachel. Trust me," Finn reassured her. "I want to live to see the day you star in your favourite Broadway play. So you better get on that."

"That's not funny, Finn."

"Sometimes it's easier to just laugh," he murmured.

"Yeah, I know," Rachel solemnly retorted. "Tell me something random about you."

He fumbled for words at the sudden change of subject. "Like what?"

"I don't know, a story from your rebellious teenage years."

"I wasn't really a rebellious kid," he argued. "But one time I worshiped a sandwich." Rachel chuckled wildly at this. "I'm being serious!" Finn insisted. "I made a grilled cheese and Jesus' face was toasted to a golden brown right on it. I ate half, then spent a week praying to Cheesus."

"Please don't tell me you actually called it Cheesus," Rachel begged, nearly sobbing with laughter.

"I actually called it Cheesus," he confirmed in shame. "Don't tell me you didn't do anything completely insane?"

"I threw a party once."

"Oh, rebellious teen you were," Finn challenged sarcastically.

"Well for me it was. That isn't the story though," Rachel said, shoving his comment aside. "I kissed a gay guy in spin the bottle. Then I kind of tried to date him for a while after that. I don't suggest making that something on your bucketlist."

Finn burst out in laughter like she had. "Rach, you're making my spit fly everywhere. I probably look insane considering I'm sitting alone under a tree. How do you even try to date a gay guy?"

"You pour yourself a glass of wine, turn on some romantic music and call him. Or you go on a coffee date and kiss him."

"Did you really?"

"Unfortunately." They were giggling in unison- in harmony.

"Rachel, I have some-"

Rachel cut off the mysterious, distant voice on her side of the phone call. "Oh hold on," she said to the person. Then to him, "I have to go now, Finn. I'll see you tonight," and the line went dead. Finn stared at the screen of his phone, saving her number in his contacts. He finally made his way back to his apartment, grinning down to the grass.

"Are you sure you don't want me to top that off?" the bartender asked of Finn's nearly empty glass of beer. He quirked a manicured eyebrow and rested the heels of his hands on the wood of the bar.

"No, I'll just stick to the one," he repeated for what must have been the twentieth time. "I'd prefer to leave sober."

"Got a hot date?" the man questioned, smirking smugly.

"So what if I do?" Finn grumbled. This was his regular bar and every worker knew all but his entire life story. Max, the particular bartender who was interrogating him in the present, was always curious about his personal life.

"It's about time," Max replied. He tucked the ebony tufts of his hair behind his ears. "I don't even understand how a man like you could go so long without a decent girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," he corrected. _Yet,_ he added silently.

"I'll cross my fingers you get there then," the lanky man told him. "In all seriousness, I want to see you truly happy while you've still got the time to be."

"Don't worry about me, Max." Finn swiped a glance at the grandfather clock in the far corner of the bar. He quickly slurped back the last of his beer. "I should get going. See you later, man." They gave each other a nod of goodbye. Finn winded his way through a rowdy crowd and slipped out of the bar.

Rachel's theatre was literally two buildings away from the bar. He'd only left to avoid the awkward conversation about his cancer that might've ensued. When he reached the alley to the stage door, a line of hopeful theatre-goers were still gathered for autographs from the stars as they left. Not wanting to seem rude, he stayed put instead of pushing through to find Rachel. Just then however, she emerged from the door, biting an elastic as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She spotted him almost instantly, probably not a difficult task with his towering height. Her hair elastic dropped to the ground as she went to call him over. She frantically waved a hand for him to come as she dipped to her knees to pick up the elastic.

There were a couple scattered mutters of how there was a line and one woman even attempted to cut him off, but he managed to make his way to where she was. Her hair was now in a taught ponytail and she brushed her bangs to the side a few times in habit, although they kept bouncing back to the center. She eyed him through the frays of hair, melting him on the spot. "I'm glad you came," she chirped.

"I wouldn't miss it for my own funeral." The corner of his lip twisted up in it's usual fashion.

"I told you that's not funny," Rachel whispered, slapping his chest lightly.

"And I told you it's easier to make it a joke." The pleading look on her face warned him to stop mentioning it. "It's pretty late already, are you sure you'll get home safe?"

"I've lived in New York for my entire life, I think I'll be fine," Rachel reassured him. "But thank you for your concern." She batted her lashes unintentionally. "I'm going to leave soon anyways, I just thought we could say hi."

"In that case, I'll wait a few hours to say hi," he said, not even caring how cheesy it was.

"You just did though," Rachel pointed out. "That means it's already time for goodbye."

"I'm never saying that either." Finn planted his feet in protest.

"You don't have to. This counts." Unexpectedly, she gripped the front of his shirt in her tiny fist and yanked him down closer to her level. Ever so slightly rising onto her toes, Rachel leaned in to kiss him gently. It barely lasted two seconds, but between the shock and the way she tugged at his lip as she tore herself away. "Goodbye." She smiled sweetly, lingering for a moment or two before strutting away down the alley, fumbling to tighten her ponytail in an irresistibly cute way.

* * *

**A/N: I promise when school's out the chapters won't take as long or be so short. I'm sorry!**


	4. Need You Now

"Are you almost ready, Finn?" Rachel hollered from his living room, her speech full of sweetness.

"Just a minute," he yelped back. He looked at the puffy red rings around his eyes in the bathroom mirror. Two days had already past, and he didn't expect to get over it anytime soon. As he dabbed at his eyes with the sleeves of his tuxedo he replayed that night in his head. Not five minutes after Rachel had left the stage door, his phone started vibrating again. This call was not nearly as welcome as Rachel's.

_"Hello?" Finn answered hesitantly at yet another unknown number._

_ "Finn Hudson?" the husky voice on the other side demanded. It seemed more like a statement than a question, but he confirmed nonetheless. "Do you know a Susan Sylvester?" Again he told the man yes. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we have some bad news."_

_ His gut wrenched. He knew, but he could never admit it until he heard it. This night was perfect. He refused to accept that anything could come along to ruin it. "Is something wrong?" The words strung together in a stumble._

_ "I'm sorry to tell you that Susan has passed away…" The man continued to speak, but Finn had stopped being able to listen. He couldn't hear. He was drifting into a world of his own; A world of silence._

The rest of that day and into the early hours of the next day were spent in a state between crying and being mute to the world. His lungs gave him trouble breathing to the point where he had to hook himself up to an oxygen machine. In the afternoon he had called Rachel, not having anyone else, who came immediately to comfort him. She offered to stay through the night, but ended up going home with a promise to be back early for the funeral.

So there he was, nowhere near prepared to say goodbye. But Rachel was waiting in the living room, swishing her silky black dress with her fingers as she waited. He had to go, no matter how impossible it seemed.

Walking up to her, he took one of her hands, feeling how much softer hers were than his. Rachel was looking up to his face, but he refused to make eye contact and kept his head down. "Let's go."

The funeral was full of Susan's past students and co-workers that he'd never known. Rachel's friend from the last show she was in, Kurt Hummel, was in attendance and she took the lead in introducing them. The man seemed nice enough, even if his pink bowtie was a little above the occasion, but Finn was preoccupied with despair. The viewing moved right along. When Finn had whispered his lingering goodbyes and tucked her hair behind her ear, he wiped his nose on his sleeve and turned to find his seat again. He surveyed Rachel's moves as she stayed by the coffin's side. She shifted her head from side to side as if to make sure no one was watching. Finn tensed, but relaxed when he saw what she was doing. Gently, she plucked a flower from her purse. She fiddled with the stem, tying it off in a knot. Slowly and precisely, Rachel positioned the flower inside the coffin, presumably in Susan's hair.

Finn acted like he hadn't seen the sweet thing she'd done as Rachel glided back to sit beside him. They listened attentively from the front row of the pews while a slew of people said a few words about Susan. Finn stood at the end to take his turn when he was called upon.

He choked on his first few words and had to start again. His eyelids squeezed together tightly to blink the tears away and he took a deep, calming breath. "Susan was my only friend. When I moved here, I realized none of my friends in school could really be called that. Just because you're popular doesn't mean you have a lot of friends. It means you have a lot of followers and people that use you. Susan was finally a real friend to me." Finn spoke every word straight from his heart, pouring his soul upon these people. "I learned what that really means, and she's done so much for me. Every Broadway show we've gone to. Every gelato she's bought me. Even every time she made my hair glisten with spit. These are the memories friends make. These are the memories I'll remember and keep with me. I can't thank her enough. Another thing I would thank her for is Rachel Berry." He met Rachel's glistening eyes with his and reached a hand out to her before resting it back down on his podium. "She took me to the place I saw this girl, then she encouraged me to talk to her. I feel like she left me a new friend in place of an old one. Like she didn't want me to be alone in this world if she wasn't there. It's safe to say Susan is in my heart, and everyone else's here forever. She's given us so much, it was time for her to take a peaceful break. Thank you." Finn sat down beside Rachel again. The crowd of guests unexpectedly started a wave of clapping for his speech. He couldn't help but let himself smile for a minute at the imprints Susan had left on all of them.

After the funeral had ended and Finn and Rachel were sandwiched in the subway, Rachel suddenly broke the silence. "Have you ever thought about your own funeral?"

"Yeah, I plan on waking up as a zombie," Finn joked. His voice was still monotone but she could tell he felt better than he had.

"It was a serious question, Finn," she insisted. "Do you want them to play your favourite songs? Do you want a quote on your grave like some people do? These are the kind of things you can't do when it's too late." Tears were shining in her eyes but she wouldn't let it show.

"No, I don't know. I guess it'd be cool to have a song played. They could play that one you sing at the end of West Side Story," Finn suggested.

"That seems like a random song for your funeral."

"Not really. I picked it because it was right before I first really noticed you." He grinned at the memory. "That was an important thing to me. I'd love to leave with it."

"You can't focus it on other people," Rachel argued in a hushed voice. Her tone said otherwise though, tinted with a smile.

"Nothing in my life has been significant. Like I said back there, I was one of the jocks in high school with no real friends and no real memories. Meeting you is probably my highlight." Rachel tilted her head in adoration, her smile never faltering. "Have you thought about your funeral?" Finn interjected.

"Of course!" Rachel replied enthusiastically. "The playlist will be all Broadway songs. A slow, sad one to start if off, followed by a few fun but still depressing numbers. It'll wrap up with my personal teenage recording of On My Own so everyone can enjoy my lovely vocals one last time. Plus it'll remind them of how hopeless their futures are without me, but they have to get by."

"You really thought this through," Finn commented, doing his best to keep a chuckle from escaping.

"That's not all," Rachel continued, seeming irritated that he interrupted. "Barbra Streisand needs to be tracked down first to sing the other songs for me. My grave has to be shaped like a star, no matter the cost. My coffin will have pink lining. All my dedicated fans are invited to come and stand at the back to honour them for their years of support. And to answer what you said, yes. I think it's important to be prepared. Anybody could die at any time."

Rachel had really given thought to every aspect of her death. It hit him with the force of a pickup truck that he knew he was dying soon and these details had never even crossed his mind. He almost didn't want them to. "I'll just let my parents pick stuff for me," he decided.

"I'll make sure you get your song," Rachel murmured sweetly.

The conversation over funerals came to a close as the subway slowed down for their stop. She'd asked to come to his apartment again, not trusting him to handle his feelings alone. She volunteered to cook dinner and whipped up these weird little vegan pizza buns. Finn was doubtful in tasting them, but the irresistible scent wafting from the plate to his nose urged him to take a bite. After that, he devoured everything in no time. When Rachel was finally finishing hers, his head had drooped down innumerably.

"You should sleep, Finn," she suggested. "You must be exhausted." She ran both plates to the sink and began to head for his couch. "Do you mind if I sleep here? I can be gone before you wake up."

"You can stay as long as you want, Rachel," he assured her. Then, "That couch is my mom's from the seventies, my bed's giant and comfier." He gnawed on his bottom lip. "I mean, if you want. I'll probably pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow anyways."

"Sure," Rachel nodded. She followed him to his bedroom. Watching him sit down on the in fact gigantic bed and pull his shoes and tux off, stripping down to an undershirt and boxers, she realized something else. "Maybe I should just go home. All I've got with me is this dress." Her eyebrows dropped in worry.

"Oh yeah. If you want to go that's fine, but I have some old shirts if you want." He noticed himself repeating the same phrase, his lacking social skills showing.

"Actually, that would be great. It's been a long day, I don't think I'd make it back home."

He rummaged through his pajama drawer and pulled out a random band shirt and a pair of shorts. Rachel caught them as he tossed them to her, the difference in the size of the clothes and her outstanding. "I think those shorts have a drawstring," he offered.

With a smirk, she demanded he turn around so she could change. Even though he knew it wasn't the best time to, he couldn't help but imagine the girl of his dreams wearing practically nothing a few feet behind his back. "Done!" Rachel called. He turned to the petite girl dressed in his clothes- the shorts hung to her knees and the shirt sagged over her entire body, barely letting those shorts poke out. There was something wildly sexy about Rachel in his own clothes, and he had to stop his thoughts with a memory of hitting the mailman the first time he tried driving.

He laughed nervously for a second. "I think they fit fine. Well, ready for bed?" he gulped. Rachel nodded her head and climbed into the opposite side of the bed. Unlike her, he pulled up the blanket in a protective way before realizing the summer heat was too much for that. He turned on his side to face the wall and shut his eyes, about to fall asleep.

"Finn?" His name being called through the darkness sounded like a melody on her lips.

"Yeah, Rach?"

"Can you hold me?" she pleaded.

"Are you sure?"

"I feel alone right now, please. And like I said, you never know how much time you have. I want to love every minute of you." She tugged at his hand and he flipped over, rendering them face to face. "I love you." The words were spoken so softly that anywhere else in New York they would've been swallowed by the crowds. Here though, it was the only sound to fill the room.

"I love you, Rachel." Finn closed the distance between them with a hard kiss, letting her warm breath fill his mouth. He broke away when Rachel went to deepen the kiss, rolling her over and cradling her in his arms. "So much," he finished, pressing a last gentle kiss against the glossy top of her hair.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, my exams start this Wednesday and finish the next Monday..I don't know how much I can write until after that, but I'll try! And also, thank you to the people who read this, particularly the reviewers. You make my day. :')**


	5. Don't You Want Me

Finn woke the next morning grasping only air. "Rachel?" he moaned, slurring the words with sleep. He padded at the crumpled empty half of the sheets beside him.

The first thing that hit him was that he'd just spent a night with Rachel in his bed. A giddy grin lifted his face.

The second thing had the opposite effect as he recalled the funeral, everything in burning detail that stung his eyes.

Finally something washed away both feelings, a pleasant aroma calling to him. It dragged him out of bed like a marionette doll and to the kitchen. Rachel, still clothed in his shirt and shorts, was bent over the open oven door. He couldn't help but stare at the way her ass protruded from that position. Another step forward had the linoleum squeaking and his eyes darted to look in the oven, avoiding being caught. He went to speak, gasped at air, swallowed, and started again. "What's cooking?"

"Cinnamon buns." She opened the fridge and took the container of strawberries.

"Do I even have the stuff to make those?"

"Of course!" she answered, picking over the strawberries for the decent ones in the batch. She rinsed the handful, then began chopping away. "They're really not hard to make. Now go sit down at the table, breakfast is on its way." Rachel managed to shoo him into the corner of the living room, where his excuse for a dining room was. Minutes of staring at the beige wall passed until Rachel came prancing in with two plates. She set one down in front of and the other opposite him, seating herself in front of the second. She eagerly awaited him to take the first bite, and when he did he was instantly hooked.

Throughout the meal, the two spoke casually to each other, about their lives and the weather lately and the ants on the sidewalk. At one point as they were nearing the end, Finn brought up her going home. "Do you want to just get dressed and I can go with you on the subway after this?"

"Get dressed in what?" Rachel demanded.

"You could just wear your dress home, it wouldn't be a big deal," Finn suggested.

"I don't want to wear my funeral dress around the neighbourhood."

"Rach, it's just a black dress," he pointed out. "Nobody's going to care."

"Well I do. I'd rather just wait here for an occasion to wear it."

"So you're going to stay here till I die?"

"Maybe," she pouted quietly.

"Rachel, that's insane. You can come back anytime but you have a life to live. You have shows to perform." He gave her a pleading look, feeling her pain.

"Oh well. Some dreams die fast, and we move onto new ones."

"I've known you for days and I know that's not you at all. Think about it. Why would you give your dreams up for some guy you just met that's going to die pretty soon? You wouldn't," he stated firmly. When she lifted her eyes from the plate, tears were twinkling on the verge of falling. "Don't cry, why are you crying?" His voice softened to velvet.

Rachel wiped the tears with her hands. "I know you're right. It's just-" Her voice broke off, her body beginning to rack but she made no sound. Through the crying she managed, "It's so hard out there. I thought I had what it takes to make it, but that's not enough. But you I already have, so that should just be enough for me."

"No, you deserve more than that," a deafening screech from the chair leg rang through the apartment as he got up, "You, Rachel Berry are a star." Finn stood behind her chair and looped his arms around her shoulders. "You hear me? I'm not worth that. The ensemble is just a stepping stone. A few years down the road, you might mention me in your Tony speech if you still remember. You have to live to get there first though."

"I'll never forget you," Rachel blubbered. She took his hands in hers, then with a second thought let go and stood up. "I'll leave before lunch," she said, mostly composed. She grasped one of his hands again and led him to the plush couch.

"So what are we doing for-" Rachel cut him off with a kiss. She carefully pried his lips open with her own mouth, snaking her tongue to his. He took the cue and entwined his fingers in her hair, pressing her back down to the cushions. Her hands made their way to his chest, clenching the front of his shirt in fists. She made a show of sucking on his bottom lip before leaving wet kisses along his jaw on the path to his neck. "Rachel," Finn moaned to her hair as she nibbled at his throat. His lungs were screaming at him to stop, but he ignored it with a big gulp of air.

Finn scraped his fingers down her back and felt a shiver run down her spine. Rachel mewled and he couldn't resist a grin. "Touch me," she whispered, nudging her lips against his ear. Keeping one hand in place on her back, he ran the other up her side. He quickly realized that she'd taken off her bra at some point as he felt her smooth skin beneath the shirt she had on. The noises she made snapped his hesitation and he gripped her breast. He worked his hand in a massage, gently at first, but getting more intense as Rachel's breathing got heavier in his ear. She wrapped her legs around his back, grinding herself against the erection through his pants, alerting him of how wet she was.

She leaned back and tried to make a move at shimmying out of his shirt. "Rachel no we can't. It's barely been days, you're not thinking this through again." He swiped his hand away and cupped her face with it.

"Who knows how many more it'll be, we have to speed things up," she justified. She tugged at his wrist but failed to get him back to second base. "I know that I'm ready, I've thought it through."

"Neither of us are ready right now. If we both want it to happen it can and we'll be prepared. But you don't need to jump into things just _incase_ I die tomorrow," he reasoned. After a moment of letting her brain process the idea, Rachel nodded. She pecked his lips and sprung up to change into her dress, finding a safety in his promise.

The incessant rumble of his phone pulled him from rummaging in the fridge for dinner to the coffee table. "Hello," he answered.

"Hello Finn, it's Rachel. Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Not really, but I meant wait at least a day or a week."

"No not that. I was wondering if you could come to my show tonight, I have a ticket in your name," she offered, perky as ever.

"If you want me to, of course."

"Great, just ask Greg at the box office." She hung up before either of them could say anything else.

Finn returned to the refrigerator, finding a container of leftover Chinese food to heat up. When he'd finished that, he pulled on his nice jeans and button-up green shirt and left for the show.

At the box office line, Finn scoured for the man with the right nametag. A different employee called for the next person in line. He let a couple behind him go ahead, spotting Greg on the other end of the booth. The middle-aged man assisted his customer in purchasing their ticket and was about to yell out for the next. "Excuse me, are you Greg?" Finn asked pointlessly before he could. "I'm Finn Hudson."

A smile spread on Greg's face. "Ms. Berry's told me all about you." Finn laughed nervously while the man searched through a bright folder. "Ah here we are!" He handed over the tickets with delight. "I know you'll enjoy the show. I wish I could be there to see it for myself."

"I will," Finn assured. "Thank you." He slipped through the crowd and entered the theatre. The minutes before the lights dimmed for the show seemed to drag on forever today, something about everybody's attitude making him anxious. He began to flip through his new copy of the program during the wait, and a little piece of paper fluttered out. He fumbled with it in his lap, wanting to see who was understudying tonight's show just as the lights went down and the musical went on as usual.

Then Rachel stepped onstage when Maria was supposed to appear. _Rachel was Maria._

It took all of his might not to stand up then and holler his pride. By intermission, tears were stained down his face. He shot up in hopes of going to hug her and spin her around as if they were both in the show, but there was no way he could. The wait until it was over was painful and incredible at the same time. He soaked in every minute of her performance and loathed every minute he couldn't be with her.

The end came and Finn was undoubtedly the loudest standing ovation in the room. He sat too far back to catch her gaze like the first day, but he could see her eyes gleaming at the overwhelming applause. She curtsied on her last bow before the curtains closed. He dashed outside to the stage door, even knowing it would take her forever to get out. Every passing second he seemed to add a new thing to his speech on how he was so proud of her achieving her dream that by the end it was becoming too long to remember. When she did come out, all of it was forgotten as he tackled her with a kiss, holding her to him tight. He drew back to beam at her. "I'm so proud of you, Rachel Berry."

She looked as if she could burst of happiness. She clasped his hand and turned to all the expectant fans, fans of _her_. Between every program she signed and every picture she posed for, Rachel made sure to hold onto him tightly. He'd made it here with her. He'd been there and alive to see his own star become a star. If it wasn't so bittersweet, the thought would be perfect.


	6. The Time of My Life

"This was a terrible idea." Rachel rose her head from the trash bin and the putrid smell of vomit came with it. They were stranded in the guys' bathroom, Finn having jammed the doorstop behind the door to keep anyone else out. He was holding her hair back to avoid getting any puke in it.

"Sorry Rach, I thought it would be fun," Finn sighed. "I really don't know how we ended up like this."

"What, throwing up in the men's bathroom at a nightclub?" Rachel looked at him queasily as she tried to smile at how crazy that sounded coming from her. She stepped away from him to turn on the tap of a sink, rinsing and wringing her hair out beneath it. Tilting her head to see him better, she said, "Maybe we should've just stuck to the roller coasters." They smirked at each other, both remembering the original plan for Mission Fun, then retraced the time they'd spent together tonight.

_"Are you sure you don't just want to wait till tomorrow? Coney Island won't be closed then and we can just go there for the day. That idea was better, I don't know why I suggested this." He knew it was too late as they turned onto the block the club was on, only a couple minutes of walking ahead._

_ "Finn, you're more nervous than me," Rachel giggled. "Come on, we live in New York and I've never been to a nightclub. You said for yourself it was a great time, why are you suddenly so doubtful?" She took his hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly. Even knowing she was trying to distract him from his resistance, he couldn't help but forget everything but her touch in that moment. He could never admit it, but he really had found that someone to fall in love with._

_ "I don't know, I just don't want any drunk men throwing themselves at you," Finn admitted sheepishly, semi-snapping out of the haze she'd left him in._

_ "I don't think anyone's going to snatch me away. Have you seen the girls in there? I haven't but their always really attractive in TV shows. So I gather it's the same, give or take." She didn't seem to notice she was blabbering nonsense. "Plus I only have eyes for you." An adorable shy smile and a flirtatious look later, her lips were pressed softly against his. "Why did I ever not like you?"_

_ "I'm going to focus on the fact that you do now instead of being insulted, Finn said. He licked his lip unconsciously, tasting her strawberry lip gloss. They reached the door to the club and he turned to Rachel. "You ready?"_

_ She nodded, unconvincingly. "Now or never."_

From there, the night had taken a spin. Rachel became more comfortable with a few drinks and they almost had the fun night Finn predicted.

Almost.

It turned out Rachel was a bit of a crazy, clingy drunk. After an obnoxiously loud, "Dance with me, Finny!" she dropped her sloshing cup and tried for some unwanted advances. He allowed her some face sucking and even a little grinding, not wanting to transform her into the angry drunk. But when he refused her yanking his hand towards a couch, she decided on unzipping her dress right then. It started to slip down her chest before he reacted and pried her hands away to zip it back up. "Rachel, stop it, people are starting to watch. And I don't need random dudes groping you I thought we got that clear," Finn said sternly under his breath.

"What you need…is a drink," she slurred. Stripping in the middle of the dance floor forgotten, she dragged him to the bar and demanded two drinks. She'd gotten drunk after barely her first, so the bartender was less than concerned about cutting her off. That ended up as a con for her, leading them to the present disaster in the bathroom.

"I guess it was the bartender's fault," Rachel blamed. "I was pretty obviously drunk, from what I hear." That earned a laugh and a murmured confirmation from Finn. She smiled at him, painfully but genuinely. "I still had fun. While it lasted. Not that this is that bad."

"I can't say it was all that bad, either," Finn said after a long puff from his inhaler. The dancing had left him breathless in more ways than seeing half of Rachel's boobs. Even though it never really left his mind, sometimes the fact that he had lung cancer was clouded out in his brain when Rachel was around. "We better get going now, before you pass out here."

"I can walk, Finn," she protested when he tried to steady her as she stood up. He knew that was entirely true, but knew too that there was no arguing with a determined Rachel. If she had her mind set on walking alone, she would walk alone.

He kicked away the doorstop and braced himself for the pounding bass and drunk clubbers. They made their way through strobe lights and crowds. A pulsing blue light seemed to move with their hurried steps. At the stairs, Finn had to give her a push when she went to go back to the dance floor. Eventually they made it up and out of the building, tumbling onto the sidewalk.

New York is the city that never sleeps; If the sky hadn't been so black, the lights of buildings and taxis would practically make it seem like day. Finn stepped to the curb to hail a cab. "Are you coming over or do you want to go home?" The question hung in the air, not even a response half-hanging on Rachel's lips. He figured it was her way of contemplating, but when he turned to see what the look on her face said, she wasn't there. "Rachel? Rachel?" He looked back and forth desperately.

"Right here!" Rachel called from behind. "Look at this cat, isn't it cute? You're cute, yes you are." She baby talked the stray cat, stroking its black fur. It crept out from behind the garbage can to nudge her hand.

"Get away from that thing, it probably has rabies," Finn said. He was in a panic, tugging at her free hand to come to the other edge of the sidewalk with him. A taxi down the street honked ferociously and the cat bolted a few feet down the alley.

"Come here, kitty kitty," Rachel cooed. She started down the alley after its haunting yellow eyes.

"You can't be serious, Rach!" he hollered after her. "Get out of there, we can go buy a cat if you want." She'd disappeared into the shadows and didn't answer. "_Rachel._" He gulped and sprinted down the alley- and ran smack into Rachel. "We have a cab to catch, the cat doesn't need you." She meekly whimpered in response and Finn finally took note of what was going on.

"I don't think that'll be necessary," a harsh voice whispered. "I got your girlfriend in a bit of a situation." Finn saw the glimmer of a knife at her throat and a muffled scream. "Hush now, missy. All I want is a little fun and you won't get hurt."

"If you touch her you're going to fucking regret it," Finn spit. The man chuckled at him, the sound low and rough, hurling back, "I'm already touching her. Oops." With that, Finn flung himself at him. The knife clattered to the ground but he held Rachel firm in a headlock as he was pummeled. Finn's fists barely seemed to affect him up until he hit him in the eye and the man reached one hand up to hold it. Rachel saw her chance and ducked out from his grip and thrashed wildly when he reached for her again. "Run," Finn told her.

But Rachel wouldn't run, she couldn't run. She was too damn stubborn to leave Finn behind.

The attacker growled in an animalistic way, readying himself to pounce on Rachel. Finn rocketed a fist at his stomach and his presence was finally acknowledged. The other man hit him in the nose and blood dripped into pools on the concrete, shining ebony in the dull light. He was suddenly falling, falling, lungs giving up as the lungs they were. Then everything was as dark as the blood, except for a flash of colour that shocked his brain before he went down.

"Thank you again, Noah," came Rachel's voice. Finn heard it but all he could see was blinding white. "It scares me so much what would've happened if you weren't there." Nothing made sense as he listened, staring at the brightness as if he couldn't look away.

"I'm glad I could help," a different voice, Noah said. Finn took a choked breath through the tubes going into his nostrils. His memories blurred but all told the story of the battle in the alley, the attempted rape. He moved his hand to his nose, wanting to stop the flow of blood. When he touched it, there was none. Thoughts clouded him with how long he had been lying there. Was he still in the alley?

"Finn!" Rachel exclaimed, noticing him stirring. She quickly came into view above him, resting her hand on his. When he asked, Rachel informed him that he was in the hospital. He'd be out as soon as they knew he was awake, it was just his lungs.

Finn found relief in the fact that Rachel wasn't in a room down the hall.

She took off down the hall to find a nurse and the other man stepped in line beside the bed instead. Finn shifted into a sitting position against the pillows. "Hi, I'm Noah Puckerman," the guy said, offering a hand. He was tanned and muscular, but Finn's eyes were drawn to his mohawk. No one in their right mind would tell him, but it looked like a dead squirrel was sewn on his head. Finn took his hand, introducing himself as he shook it. "I followed you and Rachel out of the club. The way you kind of pushed her at the stairs gave me a bad feeling, but I guess I was wrong. Luckily it did bring me to finding you going into the alley and after one scream I dialed 911. Dudes gotta stick together."

Finn didn't know how to express his gratitude any better than a "thank you." Not only did it get him to the hospital in time, but it saved Rachel from that terrible man. Nothing was worse than the things that he imagined could have happened.

A tall, lanky nurse walked in, Rachel in stride behind her. She went through a long lecture on how he had to be careful with his weak lungs as she unhooked him from monitors and breathing tubes. He nodded along but had stopped caring about this long ago. It was hopeless and pointless now.

The trio hobbled to the elevator. It dinged open almost instantly and they stepped in, squeezing beside a doctor inside. They all stood in silence until Finn coughed awkwardly. The doctor directed a sidelong glance to him and took the three into account. He went back to staring through the buttons to nothing, then a look of recognition shifted his features. "Rachel?" He smiled warmly at her. "I haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing?"

"Oh, Dr. Wendall! I'm doing fine, thank you," she answered. It sounded like she wanted to wrap up the conversation.

"Have you been going to the doctor we recommended you to?" Dr. Wendall continued insistently.

"Yes, she's excellent."

"What was her prediction, if you don't mind?" He tilted his head and adjusted his glasses as they slid.

"Oh you know," Rachel paused dramatically. The doors sprung open with a _ding!_

"Sorry, we'll have to catch up another time," the doctor said. "I have a patient to get to in the purple ward, see you later Rachel!" He scurried out and down the hall. Finn watched as he grabbed a clipboard off the wall until the doors closed, blocking off his view.

"What was that about?" he wondered, turned now to Rachel.

"Nothing, just my old doctor, don't worry about it." She nudged his arm playfully.

"You looked kind of pissed off at him though. Do I need to go beat this guy up?"

"Finn!" Rachel slapped his arm but he could see the grin playing with the edges of her lips. "No he's perfectly alright. I just don't want to get caught up in a conversation, I know how he is. He's one of those people who can go and on. Even more than me! We just need to get home right now." And that was the end of that.

Finn attempted to get Rachel to go to her own apartment, but she seemed intent on spending every minute she could with him. Not that he had a problem with that. Another side of her seemed edgy, pulling away from him. He decided to give her time to come to him- he couldn't expect any more from her after the alleyway incident.

That night as they lay tucked into his bedspread, Finn hugged her close when he was sure she was asleep. Her breathing had fell into a deep rhythm. He drummed the beat with the lightest touch on her thigh, going back to his childhood as a drummer. For a moment he thought he'd do anything to go back to those worry-free days, but he wouldn't give up his growing love for Rachel for all the time in the world.

Coincidentally, Rachel had put on a pretty good show of being asleep. She whispered one last thing before truly going to bed: "You promised me a kitten."


	7. A House Is Not A Home

He really had no choice when it came to the promise, even if it had just been a way to get her out of the alley. Rachel was getting her kitten.

"Black cats are bad luck, Finn we can't get that one," Rachel chided when he dared to glance for more than a few seconds at a particular one. She continued around the humane society room, peering into each cage with a weird look on her face; It was somewhere between wanting to take home every adorable ball of fluff and judging them like mongrels because they weren't quite right for her.

"You're going to have to pick one today, baby." Finn saw her pause, her eyes lighting up at the name, but she quickly put back on her not-choosing-a-cat demeanor.

"But Finn!" she whined. "They're all so cute, how am I supposed to pick?"

"Just find one that screams _Rachel Berry_."

"I don't want a cat that screams, I want it to purr."

"Do you know how dirty that sounds?"

Rachel shot him a nasty look. "Stop being inappropriate. You're not sixteen." He sighed, following along as she skirted past more cages. Speaking of skirts, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander down as hers rid up… "And stop staring at my ass." Finn turned his focus back to the selection of cats mewing at them, a guilty smirk on his face.

Just as Finn's darting his fingertips in and out of a playful cat's cage, Rachel squealed in a way only Rachel could pull off as normal. That way that you can't exactly tell if it's good or bad.

"Oh, just look how cute this one is!" she cried, rendering it a happy squeal. He meandered over to where Rachel was making goo-goo faces at the sleeping kitten behind the bars. It's little white body was curled up on the metal cage floor, a tail away from the cushion bed.

While the thing was undeniably cute, he didn't quite understand Rachel's motives. Any cat could sleep and look precious. For all she knew, this one was a vicious monster by day. "Are you sure about this, Rach?" She nodded vigorously and he knew there was no persuading her to think logically. Finn looked up to the nameplate, but unlike every other cat's in the room, this one was blank. "There's no name, maybe someone already reserved it," he suggested. Her face fell at this news.

"No, she's actually just been brought in." A worker strode into the cat room, giving Rachel a new expression of hope. "We haven't had the owner in today to name her." The middle-aged woman hefted a key into the mini door and pried it open. The kitten slipped her paw off her nose so they could see the a grey smear over it. "Would you like to hold her?" she asked Rachel as she lifted the fur-ball into her arms. A high-pitched mew escaped at the movement.

Rachel said how she'd love to and held her hands out, ready to be handed the kitten. "She's beautiful," she sighed, cradling it like a baby. "Isn't she beautiful, Finn?"

"Not as much as you, but she's something alright." He flashed her a loving smile and she flushed. He swore he saw the worker's lips suppressing amusement at the line. "How much is she?"

"The adoption fee is two hundred dollars, which covers what it costs to fix them, but I shouldn't be letting you have her for another couple weeks. It's our shelter policy," the woman explained.

Another frown took over Rachel's face. "But I really wanted her."

"You can come back in about three weeks and I'm sure she'll be named and spayed and ready to go."

"Three weeks?" If he hadn't been watching for it, her gulp and glance at Finn wouldn't have been noticed.

"Yes, surely that time will fly by."

He heard her soft whimper and knew she was ready to burst into tears. "I'm afraid we might not have that time," Finn stepped in. The fact made Rachel squeeze the kitten a little too tight and it mewed again.

"What do you mean?" the woman asked cautiously.

"As in, I'm kind of at a high risk of Dying From Cancer At Any Given Moment." A pan of guilt hit him at using his illness as a means of bribery, but at the same time he was kind of enjoying it. The perks of cancer, he supposed you could say.

The lady's features softened. "I'm sorry to hear that, sir. But I don't know that there's much I can do. Unless…" She looked around the room, then down another hallway. "Excuse me for a moment." She scurried away, leaving Finn to watch Rachel shed tears into the cat's back, drying them with the fur.

"Stop, Rachel," he soothed. "I could still have a good year left in me, I'm a fighter. And you barely know me now, you won't have to dwell on it." She shook her head, unwilling to accept reassurances. In the end, she knew he would die. He couldn't stop that with words. Nor was he sure that the last point was calming; After just this short time, if he couldn't say he'd fallen in love he didn't know if that would ever happen. Maybe she felt the same way.

They stood in a kind of companionable silence till the woman returned, another male worker on her tail. He seemed considerably younger, from his smooth face to his blond curls, but he assumed the green vest gave him some authority.

'Hi, I'm Todd Waters," he greeted. He offered his hand for Finn to shake the n simply nodded at Rachel when she refused to unbury her face from the cat. "I'm the owner's son and a manager at this center. Audrey's filled me in on your story and has asked me for help. First, are you sure you don't want a different cat? I can show you some of our nicest kittens, I'm confident Olive would be a perfect match for you."

Finn turned to Rachel, eyes pleading that she'd settle for a different one, but she remained still. "I think we're pretty set on this one. Sorry to be such an annoyance."

"Don't worry about it Mr…"

"Hudson."

"-Mr. Hudson. Seeing as you have a pretty unique case, I have a proposition to make." Finn could only guess what that big word meant, but nodded along. "Even though she hasn't been spayed, we'll have to charge you the same price and you'll have to take care of that yourself. Since her arrival was so recent, we have no records written of her yet. I can scribble down some notes and explain to my dad if he's wondering which cat was adopted out. What do you say?"

Again Finn turned his attention to Rachel to see her response. Feeling his eyes on her, she gave him a glowing smile that reached her glimmering eyes. She agreed giddily then to Mr. Waters plan. He laughed appreciatively at how eager she was.

"In that case, I'll have Audrey take that kitten from you," as he spoke, the other worker was already working at prying the thing from Rachel's grasp, "and if I could just pull you two into the office for some paperwork." Mr. Waters gestured for them to follow as he strode down the hallway he came from.

They spent nearly an hour going over forms that started to seem redundant. Finn signed his name for what had to have been the hundredth time, beginning to feel like Rachel Berry autographing playbills. It must be exhausting being her.

After another page of information, the man looked up to the couple with a grin. "All done," he declared. Finn let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I just need to know, what do you intend on naming her?"

The contemplating expression on Rachel's face gave Finn the impression that they'd be here for another hour. He shifted in his chair to get more comfortable, leaning his cheek onto his propped up hand.

"See, I originally intended on naming it either Tony or Maria, both symbolic of our first encounter," Rachel babbled. "However, I don't think she quite _looks_ like a Maria, and of course it would be silly to name a girl cat Tony."

"It's your choice, Rachel," Finn said. "You can pick whatever."

"You can't just pick any name, it's a name she has to live with for the rest of her life! This is a pivotal moment in a cat's existence," she insisted. "Luckily I've thought it over, and if Finn also agrees, I'd like to name her Bo."

Mr. Waters scribbled this down on a notepad. Not shockingly, Rachel had a protest to make.

"With a W."

"Like the knot in a shoe?" he assured as he added the letter.

"Yes. Or like the bridge." Something clicked in Finn and he couldn't hide his knowing, satisfied look.

"Alright then." The owner's son cut through his haze. "Bow's yours to take home.

When the pair arrived back at Finn's apartment there was a genuine sense of happiness in the air. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to feel this good. Rachel came in behind him cradling the cat carrier, baby-talking Bow. "We're not married bringing home our third child," he said. "Let the cat be a cat."

"Oh but can't we just pretend for a minute," Rachel insisted. Then calling to the ceiling, "Barbra! Fanny! Come downstairs for dinner, your father made something- just pretend it's not orange!"

Finn chuckled and shook his head. "I don't suck that much." She smirked at him mockingly and walked ahead. Dropping the cat on the couch, she turned to kiss him. It was such a casual gesture that he would have gladly drowned in the bliss. "Speaking of homes, and not that I'm complaining, but do you think you'll ever go back to yours?

Rachel suddenly developed a distant look in her eyes and adverted her gaze from Finn's eyes. He tried to regain the connection by lifting her chin with a curled finger but she looked through him.

"Is something wrong, baby?" He scrunched his forehead in worry at her.

"I just-" Rachel sighed. "I remembered something. It's fine, don't worry."

"I'm pretty sure this is me worrying," Finn said.

"Bow!" Rachel called, arms outstretched to the couch. She knelt beside it and pulled the kitten against herself. Bow meowed in a tiny voice as Rachel caressed her.

"Rachel, what's going on?" Finn pressed.

"I-" She broke down with barely a word out of her mouth. The cat's fur served as an ideal mop for her tears until Finn dropped down wrapped his arms around her. He allowed her to drape her arms and head over his shoulders. Sobs racked her entire body to the point of hiccups. When she had mostly cried it out save for the occasional choke, he tackled the issue again.

"Is it about going home? You can stay here as long as you like, you know that." He was trying to calm her but ended up triggering another round of tears.

After she finally caught her bearings it took longer than it should have to spit out the sentence. "I- I can't- I don't," rapid blinking to stop fresh tears, "I don't- have- any- anywhere to-" She couldn't finish it in the heat of more violent crying.

"You don't have anywhere to what?" A realization struck him when he put the words together himself out loud. "You don't have anywhere to live? Did something happen to your building?"

Rachel shook her head wildly, eyes pinched shut. "No money," she managed in a squealed ending.

"But you're a star, you should have plenty of money," he stated, confused.

Suddenly Rachel found her voice. "You don't get it, Finn! Being in the ensemble of a revival isn't going to make me rich. The most I've made was when I understudied Maria and they still managed to cheap out on my agent. Broadway is my dream and my life but it really isn't easy. I can't do this. I barely have enough to keep myself alive with doctor bills and groceries and all the other expenses. Now they took away my apartment because I couldn't scarf up enough last month." Finn resisted making a comment about how high his health care bills were, knowing it was not the moment. "I can't do this." She pulled her hair in dramatic frustration and broke down in tears again on his shirt.

"Yes you can," he murmured against Rachel's ear. "You're Rachel Berry, you don't give up that easily. And when life hands you grapes or something like that, I'm here, along with my own apartment. You could've come to me and I would've helped. This is your place just as much as mine. Get comfy." She squeezed him tight and he felt her lips twitch against him in what was nearly a smile.

"Don't leave me," she choked.

"I wouldn't dream of it."


End file.
